And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
