i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
