he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Randomize
