i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
her facebook's as public as her vagina
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
