He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize