My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
