i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
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