I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
That's intense
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
they're like a gay fantastic four
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
Randomize
