we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize