Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
