If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
Randomize
