I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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