babies were throwing up all over the place
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
Randomize