I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
