i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
