I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Randomize
