if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Randomize
