the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
