I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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