I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
Randomize
