I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
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