Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
