why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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