All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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