I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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