went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Randomize
