Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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