I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
