and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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