he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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