So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
