forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
they made me velveta mac and cheese and fish. I wanna stay here the rest of my life
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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