you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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