I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
My life is pants optional.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
