Plan B is the new Plan A
I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Randomize