So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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