I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
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