drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
