idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
