I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
