do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
