the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Randomize
