guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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