Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
