if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
