her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
