ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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