do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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