So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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