lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
