just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Randomize
