it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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