Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Randomize
