You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
