Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
