Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
