is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Randomize
