nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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