i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
