Me. At least after what I've been through.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
Is it because I queefed?
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
