I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
