I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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