Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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